I’m going back and forth on my query, but think I will go with the latest because I’m sick of working on it and all the query letter does is get the agent to read the next paragraph so unless it’s really stupid or they’re not looking for anything anyway, I don’t think it makes that much difference. Anyway my new and last query is built around the concept that I read that your query should be like the cover of a book–straight forward, quick telling of the story so a reader will pick up the book and read more. In that vein, here’s the present query letter for WHO KNOWS YOU.
Hi Agent Orange – A terrorist is loose in Washington, D.C. and only FBI agent Mack Galloway can stop her—if his bosses will let him.
When Galloway is removed from his duties after he gives a retired FBI agent information that is used against a U.S. Senator only the President can get him back on the case. But is it too late?
The novel conveys what it’s like to be young and talented in Washington, D.C. when the choices you make can decide your future. Just starting her job after graduating from Stanford Law, Hope Bennett refuses to fail. But her ambition has already cost her a boyfriend. Will it cost her life?
As a former staff member of a congressional committee responsible for national security, and a veteran political operative, I know that in Washington, it’s not who you know that matters, it’s who knows you.
I have a growing fan base and strong social media presence. My web page http://www.12novel.com averages 100 hits a day with a total of over 137,000 hits.
The first three chapters of my 81,432 word political thriller WHO KNOWS YOU follow.
Thanks you for your consideration of being my agent,
Jeffrey Marcus Oshins